oh so curious

Yeah. So basically my bosses at the gym are out of town, and I’m in charge. Of all the boys. And all the things.

So I’ve managed to go from hardly doing anything to working pretty much every day. I’ve taken on a workload that I’m not really ready for, says my step dad, and also… This is causing me to basically starve myself.

I get to work and can’t leave for food. And I don’t end up eating what I take with me, so I don’t end up eating. Then it feels like my body is eating my ribcage and I do nothing about it.
My stepdad basically said if I don’t change something about my (non-existent) diet, my body will shut down fast within the next couple of weeks.

He actually said, “once you stop starving yourself, you’ll be able to last longer during the day and not be as tired and worn down.” ugh. My bad.

And of course I’m doing Aerials/Silks now, so I’m growing muscle that my body basically just eats right away because there isn’t anything else in my body. And also doing aerials without substance in me is going to destroy me.

I’m SO ridiculous. This is stupid. I find it do hard to remember to eat when I’m dealing with so many people and applications and documents and making sure this gym stays afloat underneath my supervision.

And goodness I’m hungry. Hahahahahaha.

Yup. My sister’s bachelorette party was last night.

I was the only one not drinking.

And it was my first experience getting hit on by drunk guys and seeing my sister intoxicated.

And now she is totally hungover. It sucks to see her like that. But I’m glad I didn’t drink. Obviously I can’t legally, but they were all, “we really wouldn’t mind if you wanted to drink.” and I said, “okay, but I won’t. I’m kind of against that.”

So yeah.

But it was fun.

Well aren’t I kinky.

Oops.

Oh well.

And the conversations are so awkward that it seems normal and really funny.

And the only way to fix the awkward is to add more awkward.

Omg this is spiraling downhill into a lava pit of awkward.

I hardly feel love anymore.

Just pain and heartache.

Yeah because crying myself to sleep at night is my favorite thing to do.

Hope you’re having fun visiting your horrible family in Texas.
You might as well stay down there because I’m tired of having my days ruined and my heart broken.

I mean, my heart has been broken before, but that was quick and to the point.

It’s different when it’s slow, like you can almost feel your heart tearing.